


Finding Peggy

by writingramblr



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Reminiscing, Spoilers, THAT SCENE, past relationship, that reunion, warning:serious painful feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1425175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingramblr/pseuds/writingramblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve finds Peggy, and finally gets that dance. But he can't guarantee she'll remember it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Peggy

**Author's Note:**

> omg this is depressing. I wrote this while listening to the "Captain America" 9 minute track from the Winter Soldier score that I know played during the movie credits.  
> It's so sad, and all i can see while listening is Steve just sitting in his apartment, stewing in the emotions of the last couple days, before becoming determined and going after Bucky, because he'll be damned if he's gonna lose the only friend he has left.

Steve didn’t really like the internet. It was too easy to get lost down rabbit holes, and to spend hours upon hours reading about history that he missed and wished he could have helped go differently.

He knew it was important to catch up. He’d never argue that. He hated to waste time sleeping, so he didn’t.

He read and read until his eyes burned.

Then he finally allowed himself to think about her.

Peggy Carter.

The most beautiful, brave and clever woman he’d ever had the privilege to know.

His greatest fear had been that she’d died.

But when he did the thing he’d been dreading, and looked her up, he felt a weight leave his shoulders.

She was alive!

Nearing the end of her life, certainly. But she was alive, and that was all that mattered.

***

The first chance he got, he was off and running to see her. He’d missed their date, but there was still time for a dance.

When he walked in her room, and saw her sleeping there, he could almost see her as he’d left her. After that quick kiss he’d jumped on the airplane that had ended up being his tomb.

Never mind that.

Then his eyes caught up with his mind. He saw the long white hair, and the wrinkles like whispers of time drawn on her face.

Her hands weren’t as strong and her smile wasn’t as bright, but when she saw him, her eyes lit up and he didn’t care about anything else.

He asked her to dance, just for a moment, after she’d woken up completely, and he did all the work.

He held her close and they swayed to the soft music playing off his phone. The only thing he used it for besides the occasional call in and out from SHIELD, was to spend money finding the music from his time.

She was so small, so fragile and frail in his arms, but when she rested her cheek against his shoulder he could almost pretend he’d made it to their date, it was nearing 2 am, and they were closing up the bar.

When the music stopped, the song ended, Steve reluctantly helped her back to her bed. He carefully tucked her in, and sat with her, just talking about nothing, letting her talk more, and listening to her telling him about her life.

He spent his free days there, by her side, and he never regretted a minute.

***

The third time he visited her, it happened.

They’d told him, warned him, and cautioned him, it could happen anytime, but he hadn’t listened.

Peggy looked at him anew, and he thought it was simply because it had been a long week between his last visit, but when she questioned how he’d found her, he knew.

“Peggy, I’m here to-“

“Oh Steve. I hate for you to have to see me like this. To think, I promised I’d teach you to dance, and look at me, I can’t even walk by myself.”

Steve smiled warmly, and shook his head,

“It’s okay. We danced last time. I’m just here to listen.”

The confusion on her face broke him.

“We did?”

Steve’s face remained calm, and open, but inside, there was a strange roaring noise in his ears, and his eyes squeezed shut automatically.

When he opened them, she’d turned over and fallen asleep.

His hand dragged over his face, and he could feel the wet trails of tears he didn’t remember shedding.

Now it would only get harder.

***

The next time it happened, he had to simply pretend nothing had changed. He couldn’t let her see him upset, he didn’t know how it would affect her.

He stayed and let her tell him about her life, and he held her hand, praying that this time she wouldn’t forget him.

When a petite blond girl knocked on the door, and walked in, the closer she got the more Steve recognized her.

He should have known ages before.

It was Sharon, or Agent 13, or just his neighbor.

He’d been through the SHIELD debacle, and was grateful just to get a moment of quiet to sit and listen to Peggy.

But he couldn’t find any residual anger or anything to be felt now.

“You know her?”

Steve asked, and watched as Sharon nodded slowly, before gesturing to the two picture frames on Peggy’s bedside.

“Yes. That’s me there. She raised me. She’s my aunt, but I sometimes think of her as the mother I never knew.”

Steve nodded.

Of course.

He saw little things, small gestures, echoes of the past in her. But he brushed them off as simply his wild imagination. Now it all made sense.

“Sharon? Is that you?”

Peggy’s voice startled them both, and Steve watched as Sharon moved over to take her aunt’s hand.

“Yes I’m here. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

She sent a soft smile in Steve’s direction and he forced a laugh,

“No of course not.”

Peggy patted Sharon’s hand,

“Someday you’ll find someone who thinks of you as their best girl, even when you look as old as me.”

Neither of them noticed when Steve slipped out.

It was just too much for him all at once. If Sharon decided to follow him, he wouldn’t try to avoid her.

***

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sharon popping in was an afterthought, and i just rolled with it.  
> i feel like when Steve leaves, he might not come back.  
> He's tired of being hurt, and wants to start fixing things, not just the world, but himself.  
> Also I don't mean to sound like i'm bragging, but i cried while writing this. it's that darn music. curse you henry jackman! 
> 
> but p.s. thanks for the epic score.


End file.
